Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
