just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
