WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Did I show you my penis last night?
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
