Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
