I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize