Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I want a musical about memes.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize