the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
