I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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