It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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