You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize