How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
