College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
false alarm, still single
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
