On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
