Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
