there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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