Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
