A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
