You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
