Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
