Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
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swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
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She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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