just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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