so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
