Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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