At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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