Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
