if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Randomize
