I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
this boner is exhausting
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
