he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
