whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
