How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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