So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
