Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
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I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
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I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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