ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I AM VODKA MAN
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
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