I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
