reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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