Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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