Im at strip club and am horny
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
