At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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