Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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