it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
birth control should be required to get into college
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
