We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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