Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
