Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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