So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Is it penis luge time yet?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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