WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
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This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
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You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
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