just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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