I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize