I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
