They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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