His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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