Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
foreskin is a definite game changer
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
