dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Randomize
