I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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